A related lesson

In keeping with my habit of living in three separate time zones, my days this week are split between the past (writing my memories before they fade), the present (finishing our last formal week of home schooling), and the future (mentally packing and planning for our 5-month mini-furlough in the states). We leave April 16, and the list of things to do is long...therefore, maybe I'll focus on the past and future and leave the present until it's more urgent.

Thinking again on the theme of God not sharing His glory with anyone, I remember yet another incident when I was chosen because it was God's will, not because I was capable or experienced.

In 2002 as we were preparing for our year-long furlough in Ohio, I began to talk to the Lord about possibly being used outside the home for a change. With seven children (then ages 4, almost 6, 7 1/2, 11, 13, 15, and 17) I had been a stay-at-home mom just about forever, collecting stories and wisdom in virtual obscurity, and I wondered if I would ever be permitted to share my experiences publicly. Up until that point Jim was the designated speaker in our family, and only very seldom had I been sought out as a missionary speaker myself.

I made this secret desire and request known only to the Lord, and sure enough He opened the door for some speaking ministry opportunities while we were in the states in 2003.

The first time was clearly a God-ordained arrangement, clearly an answer to prayer; thus only He could receive glory. After that I got other invitations to speak at women's events. Not that I would ever consciously choose to rob God of His glory, but in some insecure corner of my wicked heart (desiring the approval of man), I wanted to flatter myself that people were seeking me out because I was actually an okay speaker. How quickly I had forgotten my own story of how God had to move heaven and earth to get me to Thailand and into Wycliffe. Apparently I was overdue for another dose of humility.

Each speaking engagement with only one exception came completely independent of the others. Each time the organizers admitted afterward that they had never heard me speak before and were, in effect, taking a huge risk by inviting an unknown speaker.

No way could I take credit for building up a reputation as a dynamic speaker, not that I was either dynamic or had a reputation. The fact is no one had ever heard of me! God simply moved on the hearts of people and they welcomed me to share my stories at their ladies teas and retreats. Ironically the one place I was invited to speak as a result of a (human) recommendation, I blew it. That was my worst, most uninspired message ever. Maybe self crept in and squelched the Holy Spirit. How audacious to think I could do it on my own talents alone!

My desire now is to be used of God in whatever way He chooses - through writing, public speaking, or just casual encounters or among friends. Already He has paved the way for me to share on April 26 with my mom's Sunday school class at the big baptist church where I grew up in Dallas. The topic is Evangelism, and I for one can't wait to discover what God wants to say through me.

What an honor and privilege to be used outside the home, and in English! To God be the glory. He alone is worthy of our praise. Apart from Him, we are truly nothing.