A New Way of Learning

... to drive a stick shift

Mind you, this is very unorthodox, and I don't recommend it, but it has been done.  I'm living proof that you can learn to drive a car with standard transmission in one quick session without any instruction or prior experience.

The year was 1987.  The place was San Juan Ostuncalco, Guatemala.  The supporting cast included my dear mother-in-law, aka Nonnie, and two little Lokers, age barely 2 and five months old.  I was just recovering from hepatitis, and Jim was in the early days of oblivion, sleeping off his own case of hepatitis which I had given him.

Nonnie and a very tiny 5-month old Timmy

Jim's mom was with us to help out after my own mom left, and we had gone out to the village where we lived at the time.  Just as Jim got deathly ill, we ran out of propane (for our gas stove) and drinking water.  Back then the drinking water came in heavy 5-gallon glass jugs.  Back then we parked the car closer in town, forcing us to walk 10 blocks and to greet people along the way - hopefully in the Mam language we were attempting to learn.

That particular day it became apparent that someone would have to make the trip into Xela, the city not too far from our village, to buy more water, propane, and groceries.  Up until then this was Jim's job since of course I didn't know how to drive the Subaru with the standard transmission.  That day I was forced to learn the hard way.

Leaving Jim soundly asleep at home, I strapped Timmy on my back, put Christopher in the stroller, and walked the 10 blocks to where the car was parked.  Nonnie went along for moral support, assuring me it couldn't be very difficult after all.  Ha!

First of all we had to get out of the parking place, requiring me to go in reverse and somehow quickly get out of the yard before chickens and rabbits began to escape through the open gate.  All I remember is several near misses with a brick wall in front of the car, and repeated attempts to get out of the gate before the chickens.  Eventually we got out to the road, let the car stall (which it was doing a LOT), and then shoo-shooed the chickens back into the yard where they belonged.

By then I was exhausted, and still had no idea why the car was stalling so much.  The babies were in their car seats, little heads being thrown first forward, and then violently back every time we stalled.  Looking in the rear view mirror, it was almost funny to see their puzzled little faces.  Why was Mommy driving?  And why is she such a jerky driver?  I could read their thoughts.

I had figured out how to shift up from 1-2-3- to 4 even, but I could not figure out for the life of me how to down shift.  In fact it never occurred to me that it might be necessary.  Thus every time I slowed down or used the brakes, the car died.  Being a quick learner, I did figure out a solution to this slight glitch - I just used the horn instead of the brakes.  When that failed, I would wave my arms frantically to let other drivers and (bless their hearts) - the poor pedestrians in our little town and also in Xela know that a novice driver was behind the wheel and known to be dangerous.

The horn got a good amount of use that day.  Looking back, it's a wonder I wasn't detained or arrested for waving away the soldiers standing guard at the military base.  Besides that and the one notable near-miss with a bus on the highway between the village and town while I tried to restart the engine after it died, the rest of the day is a blur.  All I know is that somehow we managed to get all the provisions we needed and to return before Jim ever awoke.  It wasn't until he was coherent that I learned about the CLUTCH.

All you need to know about driving with a stick shift is that you need to push in the clutch (preferably with your left foot) EVERY time you slow down enough that the car starts to rattle.  Then you shift down the same way you shifted up.  It's really simple once you get the hang of it.

My advice to fellow missionaries is to learn BEFORE you get into a situation where it is non-optional.  Additionally I suggest learning in a safe place with no chickens or people around.

I have no photo evidence of this driving lesson, but I did find a photo taken a couple of weeks earlier.  This was Christopher's 2nd birthday, (notice Timmy on my back) - just as I was recovering from hepatitis and right before Jim succumbed to it.  We both look a bit yellow to me.