Trials in the early years, part 2

There are times when the enemy seems to prevail
And faintness creeps over the heart,


When courage and confidence quiver and quail
At the glance of his fiery dart.


There are times when exhausted, we can but stand still,
When the sword-arm hangs nerveless and numb,


Oh, then to the soul comes to whisper so chill:


"Are they weary of praying at home?"

Author Unknown

This is the poem I included in a prayer letter dated February 1988, which was during our time in Ohio awaiting medical clearance so we could return to Guatemala. That same month, Jim spoke at his home church, Bethel Temple, sharing some of the struggles we had been through. Finally he broke down in tears behind the pulpit as he recalled just how fearsome our journey had been up to that point. He basically begged the church for prayer, saying without it, we weren't sure we could continue.

The response to that service was quite compassionate for the most part. I'll never forget the pastor's wife who came to us and admitted she had never understood why missionaries needed prayer anyway, since all they ever shared were the many victorious conversion experiences on the field. She always felt missionaries should pray for the folks back home, where life is really difficult! Interesting perspective. I guess missionaries are seldom that transparent.

The response to my prayer letter, however, was curious. That poem resulted in a backlash of condemnation from people whose attitude can be summed up as "You got a lot of nerve blaming us for your difficulties on the mission field!" I was shocked that people would see it that way, but I'm sure their reaction was justified. I would never recommend anyone use that particular poem in a prayer letter!

My precious friend, Diane

One friend, however, responded in a different tact. Diane is my dear friend from Baylor who later died of breast cancer at the young age of 31, well-acquainted with suffering. She suggested that I wrestle with the idea that I must persevere and serve the Lord with all my heart, with or without the support and encouragement of men. Either I trusted God or I didn't. Either He was enough, or my faith was phony and worthless.

This was clearly a turning point in our ministry. Taking her words to heart, I began to repent (again!) of my desire for man's support and approval (life long quest, I might add) and committed my heart to trusting God no matter what trials He chose to send my way, allowing Him to be my One and only Comforter. Looking anywhere else only proves to be a disappointing foray into idolatry, as I will share in a future post.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Corinthians 4:17

"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!" Proverbs 24:10

"In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

The scriptures contain a bazillion encouraging passages, plenty to sustain us during any difficulty. The good news, too, is that we can use our trials to help others along the pathway. My prayer is that this blog will serve as a reminder to my friends and family that God alone is enough.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4

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