What I recall is a sense of peace, knowing with utmost assurance that God was with us, come what may. As I recounted all the many things the Lord had done for us, sparing our children from any lasting harm from hepatitis, typhoid, and even rabies (click for a related post), I didn't even feel the need to ask for a miraculous healing. I just knew that God was in control, that He knew better than I what we needed, and that He loved and cared for us.
Ultimately what went through my mind during that leukemia scare was that if God never did another thing on our behalf, He had already done far more than I could ever deserve or repay. Even if He had never done a single thing but die on the cross for me and my family, that was enough. I felt a humility in prayer like never before. Honestly I was prepared to meet the crisis, even if it meant losing my precious daughter, if it meant I could better associate with Christ in his sufferings.
For Bekah's sake, I was relieved that the diagnosis was not leukemia, but at the same time, I added it to my list of times God has delivered us out of our troubles, knowing full well that the day may come when crisis turns to tragedy. I just pray that I will be equally ready when it's the real deal.
As Easter rolls around every year, I am reminded that Jesus paid it all for me. He owes me nothing. I owe Him everything. Anything He chooses to do for me just adds to the debt I can never repay. I am thankful for each and every trial which helped me arrive at this conclusion. My prayer for my children is not an easy life, but heaven-ordained trials to strengthen their faith in an Almighty Savior who is able to deliver them, even as He did when they were children.
Black-eyed Bekah, still poofy from the steroids used to treat her ITP, with her friend Nicole.
No comments:
Post a Comment