What's in a name? (A Tribute to a Man Named Bill)

Linda, Loretta, Melita, Lorenda, Melinda, Melissa.  No kidding, we've had friends here in Oaxaca with all these names.  The mission field tends to attract lots of "K" people, too.  We've known Kursches, Kreutzes, Kuglers, Krugers, Kuipers, and a Kulp.

Once I was describing some of the more colorful names, and a friend thought it was hilarious that two honest-to-goodness, real life missionaries down here were named Kitty and Bertie.  Say it fast.  It sounds like kitty and birdie.

We've also known a Melba, a Mable, a Minky, plus a(n?) Hilda, Inga, Gisela, and well, you get the idea.  Also many, many people with more average everyday names.

One of the most colorful missionaries I've been privileged to know is a man who passed away a couple of weeks ago, an unforgettable character by the boring name of Bill.  Others seemed to think this name unfitting for such a personage, for he was better known and loved by all as "Uncle Precious."

After his death at age 88, a Facebook page was created for people to remember Uncle Precious, and within one day, there was a full page of memories, stories, quotes, quips, and video clips.  It made me laugh and cry at the same time.

You can tell that he was a gruff old guy who pretended to not like children.  In fact many kids were scared of him.  He was a true linguist who spoke quite a few languages, including Nahuatl Aztec.

Some of these may not resonate as much if you never knew Bill Sischo, but I think they are worth retelling here for those who are not part of that private Facebook page.

A favorite Uncle Precious quote, when griping about the people he worked with in "the tribe": "I want my next assignment to be to the Uninhabited Regions." (Instead of going to a Bibleless people group, he wanted to go to a peopleless language group.) 

I remember several times during F.E.S. that Uncle Precious asked me what my name was...each time I said "Olivia" and each time he would smile a funny little grin and say "Oh yes. OCT-A-VIA.." :)

Favorite Bill-ism: 'If the rapture happens, I can't go. I haven't finished the dictionary yet.'

The first day I arrived at SIL Seattle, I was walking down the hall whistling. This guy comes from the opposite direction and says: "Missionaries don't whistle!" and just continued on his way.

  I remember talking to him two years ago, and he told me (in German) that I should never get married, because a woman would only cause problems, AND I'd get fat :).

I remember (playing)  “The Newlywed Game” with all the married couples. At one point John Watson asked Bill why he never married. Bill responded that he never met the right woman. John responded, “Well what were you looking for?” Bill: “A woman who is very, very, very, but oh so very, rich…and who has a very, very, very, but oh so very bad cough!” 

“Hanging is too good for these towels.”

This reminds me of a time when Bill had been to a wedding and when asked how it was he replied in a sad tone, "Well, I'd like to say it went off without a hitch, but alas, they're hitched."

In a recent letter to a friend: "Dinna fash yerselves with all that packing up. 'Here we're bothered with packing each time that we move, and we carry a load in each hand But we'll not need one thing when we make our last move, to go to the heavenly land.'
Lemme go now,
Bill

Described by one as “the gruffest teddy bear I’ll ever meet.”

I remember that he always wore a t-shirt that on one side said Psalm 137:9, and on the back it said the actual verse: " Blessed is he who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rocks." Keeping true to his image of hating kids. :)

When our children were babies, Uncle Presh would cuddle them on his shoulder, walk around patting them kindly on their backs, smiling and saying in the nicest tone of voice: "Such a little nuisance you are"...and they would smile, giggle and coo at him.

When accused of being a little feminine he retorted, "that makes me so mad, I could hit them with my purse." 

Bill regularly made donuts and pecan pie for the Friday morning men's meeting in Mitla. One day, after we broke up, a worker who knew no English came in the room, and Bill with perfectly friendly body language and facial expression nevertheless said in English, "Here, savage! Take one of these!" My jaw dropped and he just smiled on. I still can't believe he did that to someone who wasn't with a "rival mission." (Any of us who weren't with Wycliffe were referred to as members of a 'rival mission.')

  (Once in a village) some teenage young men ... asked us to teach them an English phrase so that they could try to sell baskets to American tourists, especially those of the female persuasion. Under Sischo's phonetic tutelage, these poor guys memorized, in perfect English, "Would you care to buy a basket, my pretty maid?" We never got to see them in action, but imagine their endearing approach may have earned them a pretty peso or two!

I remember when we had a VW bug ... loaded completely and the playpen, etc. on top. Uncle Precious remarked, "Another family leaving all to go to the mission field."

Bill was famous for saying "Eat This!" in cafeteria lines. He would also hover at the end of the line and glower at anyone who spilled a tray and say, "With a little care that wouldn't have happened!"

‎"Guck is like wine. It improves with age." (Guck, I am told, is oatmeal)

Student: "So Uncle Precious, tell us why you never married?"
Uncle Precious: "No woman deserves to be as happy as I could have made her!"

‎"Everybody speaks 3 languages. Everybody speaks Spanish, everybody speaks English, and everybody speaks baby talk." --Uncle Bill

My favorite Bill-ism is "anyone can learn a language, even idiots speak."

"Tsk tsk. Children, so precious, yet so diseased."

Me: Hi Uncle Precious, I'm sending you a wedding invitation. My daughter's getting married and we'd be so honored if you....
U.P. Harumph. With a little care that wouldn't have happened.

Notorious Uncle Precious wearing a tutu in a skit

As I drove him to his village once, Bill recounted that, when some of his friends there asked how to greet visitors in English, he taught them to say "Shut up-a," and if they wanted to be especially polite: "Shut up-a Honey!" And sure enough, as we arrived in the village I heard someone yell, "Charapa, Jani!"

Besides being a dear friend, fabulous cook, piano player extraordinaire, linguist, and witty missionary, many will remember Bill most for his spoonerisms.  In closing, here is an audio recording of Uncle Precious reciting "The Pee Little Thrigs."



Heaven is a more colorful place now that Bill resides there.  I'm thankful for all the memories.