A to Z Compulsions and Cravings and Re-entry Challenges

From the British TV series Call the Midwife, a young apprentice starts to say, “From my experience….” And the older, wise nun interrupts her saying, “If you had a little more experience and a little less confidence, I might be inclined to listen to you.”

Transitioning to life in the US I am neither experienced nor confident.  After years of being the old-timer on the field, the go-to person for newbies, the one who knew almost everyone and everything pertinent to living, shopping, staying healthy, and thriving in Oaxaca, suddenly I am the newcomer myself, insecure, totally out of my element, knowing almost no one and nothing.

Only my family (thanks, Bekah!) can direct me away from ridiculous knee-jerk reactions, because frankly, no one else has a clue where I am coming from.  People assume that since I am clearly American, that all things should be clear to me.  Why I have struggled these first five months of living in Michigan is rather a puzzle to people. 

Maybe this A-Z list of my oddities and mixed up compulsions and cravings will shed light on how weird I really am.

A = Autumn

I just don’t “get” the whole compulsion about autumn leaves.  To me they are just as pretty carpeting the yard as they are in the trees.  Why must people rake them before they even turn brown?  I want to scream at them to leave the leaves!  The sooner they rake them - the sooner winter will come.  Maybe if we leave the leaves, it will never snow.  This is my logic, and it makes perfect sense to me. (Living in Mexico has left me a tad superstitious.)

B = Boots

Claustrophobic feet that have seldom seen a closed toe pair of shoes have been recently and suddenly thrust into tight contraptions called boots. At first it was only my mind and my heart crying out to return to Egypt, I mean Oaxaca.  Now my very toes are joining in the rebellion.

C = Candles

There is nothing like cheery, nice smelling candles to make a place feel like home, but I find myself paranoid of lighting candles in a house with wooden floors, walls, and shingles after living in an adobe house with cement and brick floors and ceilings and roof.

D = Do-it-yourself

I vividly recall a melt-down I had several summers ago when I first had to adjust to pumping my own gas.  Now I can handle that, made easier once we have one zip code to remember instead of the old process of guessing which address was associated with which bank account.  Mom's address?  The home office?  Jim's mom's place?  Hmmmm....  Now I know my zip code!  I've even figured out how to do grocery self-check-out, even putting the debit card in the machine the right way, but I still prefer dealing with real human beings.

E = Expiration dates

I find myself compulsively checking expiration dates before buying perishables, and then smelling them anyway.  Then I look and smell again every single time before consuming.

F = Facebook and flipphones

How many times do I have to remind my children:  photos are for Facebook, not for flip phones!  No, I do not have a smart phone, and even though we are relatively close geographically, I still rely on Facebook and emails to see pictures of the grandchildren.

G = Guilt and Garbage

Will I ever stop feeling guilty for the amount of money "wasted" on non-ministry things like just daily living, going to the doctor and dentist, and paying for car insurance?

After all those years of separating burnable and non-burnable garbage, we had progressed to the new system of “organic” and “inorganic.”  Now I have to sort garbage into regular trash and recyclables, which somehow seems to take a lot more energy.  It was so much easier to throw the food trash to the dogs or the neighbor’s goats and to leave recyclable things out next to the garbage can where someone would pick them up and re-purpose them.

   

H = Humidity and Hair

Blaming the hairdresser for my wonky Michigan hair, I flew to Tucson and the desert air brought the bounce back to my hair.  Honestly though, finding a new hairdresser is a big-time stress inducer.  Battling humidity does not help matters at all.

I = Imported foods

Hoarding is no longer necessary, but hard to avoid after so many years of having to ration and stretch imported foods to make them last as long as possible.

J = Just in case….

Even if we are only going for a very quick errand, I instinctively make one final pit stop.  How vividly I remember the agony of being rerouted around Oaxaca City and through the countryside with a very full bladder when protesters had blocked every possible road home.  Ditto with carrying a water bottle.

K = Kitchen light

Another thing I still fight is the compulsion to turn off every light in the house once it is 9:00 in the morning,.  In Mexico windows provided adequate daylight to dispense with electric lighting by that hour.   Not so in Michigan, let me tell you!  Even with lots of windows, there are too many shade-giving trees and clouds.

  

L = Limes

Taco Tuesdays at genuine Mexican restaurants require that we actually ask for limes, cilantro and onions, or else (shudders!) they serve them with lettuce, tomatoes, and sour cream.  I know, it’s inconceivable - but true.  I guess that’s what separates the ones who have adapted and those who are new to the scene here.  Apparently I am not “there” yet.

  

M = Manzanita Sol

At Taco Bell I was ecstatic to find a familiar Mexican soft drink in the soda pop dispenser, but then had to pour it out after I got a taste of it.  Not any closer to real Manzanita Sol than American Coke to Mexican Coca Cola. Blech.

N = No need to cringe

How long will we live in the land of perfectly adequate tap water-run-through-a-Brita (just in case) that we no longer feel sinful for pouring out an undrunk glass of water?  We still cringe when someone so much as throws out ice cubes.

  

O = One list

Having only one grocery list, not Mexican and US., it still seems odd to write things like “chocolate chips” and “canned pumpkin” on the same side of the white board as the regular things like eggs, milk, and butter.

P = pumpkins

Who knew there were so many ready-made foods with pumpkin!  Pumpkin lattes, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin bagels, pumpkin cereal bars….And flavored cream of wheat – wow!  Brings new meaning to “the land of plenty!”  This alone causes me to pity my friends back in Mexico.

Q = Quezadas

Speaking of friends, my visits with the Quezadas are now via phone and Skype instead of walking along the airstrip, but still full of encouragement and joy.

R = Replacements

For most of my adult life, I have been substituting ingredients found in Mexico for ones the American recipes required.  Even though it's no longer necessary, I still find myself hunting for the items I used to use rather than the readily available items the recipe actually call for. 

S = Sunsets and sky and stars

Although I used to crave things like shade and autumn leaves, one of many things I miss about the desert is the beauty of the sunsets.  Where we live now there are simply too many trees and houses blocking the sunshine, and seeing the sunset would require a drive to the country or the lakeside. I also find myself craving a glance at the stars to calm my heart, but too many lake-effect clouds and too many street lights block the view.

  

T = Tornadoes

It's also kind of different living in a place where there are tornado shelters in public buildings, and no instructions on bathroom walls about earthquake procedures.

U = Unbuckling

After five months, I still find myself instinctively reaching down to unbuckle my seatbelt when I turn onto the road where we live, even though "my" road is paved and not rutted so badly the seatbelt would give me a rope burn on my neck like in the old days.

V = Variety

I'm not sure how long it will take before I stop freaking out over the volumes of decisions I must make on a daily basis.  Aldi is the only safe grocery store for me because they have limited choices and little variety.  Restaurant menus are absolutely over the top ridiculous in the variety of options.  Just decide for me already.

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W = whatever you call that room

Sitting at the kitchen table, nodding over toward the room serving as a pantry over on the opposite side of the kitchen, we still refer to it as the “laundry room” even though the washer (and dryer!) are down in the basement, not in the “dining-room-repurposed-into-a-food-storage-area.”  The room with the crock pot and Vitamix was always called the laundry room, and as you can see, old habits are slow to die.

X = eXtremely jam stuffed closet

With such a wide span of seasons, I find it difficult to maintain my streamlined and simple mix-and-match wardrobe.  Instead I have hugely bulky items that look very unfamiliar to me.

Z = Ziplock bags

Any good missionary knows that you never throw out a perfectly good ziplock bag.  Even though I don’t have a handy clothesline for drying them, I feel guilty for throwing out a ziplock bag that could easily be used four or five more times.

Y = You name it!
Daily I discover more weird ideas that pop into my head that I can trace back to living outside the USA for 28 years.  Basically I am ruined for normal American life.  With all its wonders and beauties and blessings, it’s just not “home” –

                                       yet.